Leadership

Personal Labels – For Better or Worse

How many of what others say about us do we believe? Worse, how many of the negative labels others give us do we internalize and limit us? On the other hand, how many of the labels given to us do we use to our advantage?

I interviewed for a web development manager position once and was asked the question “What is your weakness?” For some reason, my answer was “I am not a very good programmer.” As soon as I uttered that response, I was so disappointed in myself because at that moment, I realized I had subconsciously accepted a negative label, someone who wasn’t too nice, had given me and had spread to others behind my back. At that point, it didn’t matter to me that I’ve proven my competence with the numerous web and database applications I have successfully developed throughout the years. It didn’t matter to me that my customers and my superiors, throughout the years, had told me over and over that I had done a great job and they were happy with what I had produced. It took me a couple of years after this incident to come to terms that I had to stop believing in that limiting label and to stop justifying my abilities.

When I was in 6th grade, I was sometimes made fun of by my classmates because of my “fresh off the boat” (FOB) Pilipino accent. It became so bad that I thought I had no choice but to fight back. There was one time when we were at the playground and I was finally fed up with the bullying. I challenged one of the bullies to a fight and while I did not know karate at all, I assumed a “karate” stance with my fists up, ready to fight. Before we were able to fight however, our teacher saw us and stopped the fight. Later that day, I overheard some students talking about how I must have known martial arts because I’m Asian. Needless to say, I was never bullied again the rest of the year.

Labels are placed upon us, for better or worse, and it’s up to us to interpret them for our gains or to limit ourselves. In our positions of privilege, we must also be conscious on whether the labels we are placing on others are used to lift them up or demote them.

What labels have been assigned to you and how have they hurt/helped you?


Words As Blessing/Curse – Use Them Wisely.

I was at a meeting with a campus network administrator and other technical staff once to discuss whether e-vite is allowed to be used by student affairs staff as an event planning tool. The person leading the meeting introduced others in the room by their official titles and responsibilities  and when that person introduced me, he referred to me in a dismissive tone including a smirk as someone who was ” just at the meeting invited to represent the users”. The introduction set the negative tone as to how my input was received , dismissed as words coming from someone technically incompetent. I personally felt devalued and had to prove my competence throughout the meeting.

I’ve also been to meetings where our Vice Chancellor of Student Affairs introduces me as a “tech wizard/magician/expert” and seemingly, the room took my words as authority. It also provided me some boost of confidence knowing such a person of significance held me with high regards.

I don’t think I’m neither technically incompetent nor a technical expert. The point is perception matters and words can either be used to bless or curse others.


Innovation – Using the Energy of Youth and Optimism

When the US Ryder Cup won at Valhalla in 2008, many attributed the win to the energy of the new team members.  The fact that some of the members never felt the experience of losing to the Europeans in previous Ryder Cup events, to some, also was a major factor in the US win. I have also heard from time to time how as we grow older, we seem to lose our sense of wonder, amazement at how the world works and we make things more complicated than things should be, maybe even more cynical. In some ways,  I see this happening in the workplace. There is no question that a sense of perspective based on years of experience, institutional knowledge,  provides a great compass in how we should move forward. It is through institutional knowledge that pitfalls can be avoided based on lessons learned from the past.  However, solely relying on the past to guide any actions moving forward, when taken to extreme, stifles innovation.

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Assertiveness and Leadership

Wikipedia defines assertiveness as the following:

a form of behavior characterized by a confident declaration or affirmation of a statement without need of proof; this affirms the person’s rights or point of view without either aggressively threatening the rights of another (assuming a position of dominance) or submissively permitting another to ignore or deny one’s rights or point of view.

As a Filipino American who immigrated to the United States from the Philippines at the age of 11, I was taught not to challenge authority and not to “make waves”. Throughout my life, including my early few years in my career, I was not very assertive, meaning I was not willing to speak up for myself or others.  Few years ago, I left a position because I was very frustrated with my role in the organization. I kept my frustration to myself and looked for another job. After I accepted the job offer, a very good friend of mine who is also part of the management above me was very surprised of my decision. As a matter of fact, he was a little disappointed that I had not spoken to him about the issues I had which led me to leave the organization.  I told him I have felt the frustration for years but I felt it was not my place to complain. I was also disappointed in myself for not having had the courage to share my frustration with my supervisor and to the management before I made my decision to leave. Fortunately, I was able to come back to the organization a few months later when an opening came up and I was asked to apply for my old position.

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The Value of Compliments in the Workplace

I was talking to a colleague one day and he tells me “You compliment too much!” .  I jokingly told him “by the way, your shirt looks great on you!” to which he smiles and says “thanks!”

While some people may view my compliments as something excessive, I really am sincere (except that conversation above) when I compliment the work of others. I think we live in a society that does not compliment enough.

Complimenting the efforts of others who I feel are worthy of recognition is very important to me and it has been  a life-long habit of mine. When I feel the person assisting me goes above and beyond what I think is beyond basic customer service, I take the time to thank them.

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