Fear does not paralyze me but it does provide me with that extra motivation to take action, to spend more time learning,  to improve myself.

Job security is something I don’t believe in anymore given the volatility of the economy. I have this fear that I will be the first person to be laid off at my organization when the budget gets worse or when the university starts consolidating technology units.  I’m not the most technically adept one amongst my co-workers, I don’t hold advanced technical and/or management degrees. I’m at the level of middle management. These are all factors that make me feel uncomfortable. But what I’ve learned a long time ago is that there’s a few people that can outwork me. The only person I know who can is my father who worked three jobs or four jobs at a time in his lifetime.  I may not be the smartest but I will work, learn 20 hours a day if I have to, just to keep up.  At the end of the day, there’s no one that will look out for me but myself. I’ve learned from experience that talks reassuring me about my place in the organization are just talks. I’ve learned to trust only few individuals who will actually look out for me.

I have this fear that I will be left behind when it comes to technology. The speed at which consumer-led innovations like social media, mobile and cloud is quite fast and I don’t want to be left behind, especially in my position in the technology field. It is this fear that I learned to accept the inevitability of having to work in a world where I will not be able to keep up with the new gadgets, new ideas but instead of resisting it, I will just have to keep up as much as I can and maybe stay ahead of the curve if that’s even possible.

I’m actually a very positive person and I hope for the best, and I can make something out of any situation.  Fear does give me that extra kick from time to time to get me to the next level.