Maintaining Your Sanity By Managing Your Expectations

sanity-insanity-road-signI believe one of the sources of our frustrations is when our expectations do not match the realities of our situations. I’ve learned through the years to recognize what I can control or influence and those I simply need to accept as I’m in no position to change them. I’ve also learned that changing my perception and emotional response is more accessible than changing those around me. By re-framing or recognizing my control/influence boundaries, I’ve learned to minimize my frustrations and make the best of my situation.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that it’s probably easier to change myself (or my attitude) than to change others. For example, some folks are more naturally outspoken and have more dominant personalities than I do. During meetings, I’ve gotten frustrated when I’m unable to express my thoughts/ideas when the discussions are happening. Maybe it’s because I’m introverted, and it takes a lot of energy to be in these situations, or tha,t I’m just eloquent enough to verbalize my thoughts. Sometimes, these folks are way above the organizational hierarchy or from other organizations, and asking them to change their ways would probably not be the wisest nor the most effective move on my part. Given that I can’t change these folks, I’ve learned to change my attitude and expectations when attending these meetings. I’ve learned to relax and accept that these meetings are sometimes monologues, and I’m there just to listen. I’ve come to realize when decisions have already been made, I wasn’t going to waste my effort and energy having to argue my points. If I do need to convey my ideas, one of the things I do is to write them down and email them to the group before or after the meetings. I may also share my thoughts with other folks so they know where I’m coming from and can help me express them during the session. Just a side note, when I facilitate meetings, I make an effort to encourage other folks to participate and acknowledge their ideas.

Another scenario I’ve come to accept is that formal positions don’t always mean being in a position of authority. Throughout my career, I’ve led several committees and projects at our university, ranging from departmental and divisional to campus level. For the most part, my position as chair/leader of the committee/project meant I was able to have a relatively high level of influence, and I was able to shape the discussions because of my expertise and position in the organization. However, there have been times when I find myself only havingplaceition in my name. Based on the politics, personalities, or expertise of those involved, I find myself in a role with limited authority. This would have bothered me in the past, and I took it personally.  However, I’ve come to realize that as long as the project’s objective is met and the process is generally what I consider respectful and productive, I will contribute in the way I can, even if it means just scheduling the meetings. This doesn’t mean, however, that I don’t exert my “authority” as a chair/lead and adjust the direction of the discussions when needed. What it does mean is that I’ve learned to “pick my battles” and not to take my situation personally.

It’s easy to get lost in the messiness we encounter along the process. Keeping the bigger picture and end goal in mind gives us a compass to guide us along the way.

We all have ideas on how things should be. I’ve read many books on leadership, communication, and organizational management, and I sometimes forget these books are about what and how things should be in an ideal world. The reality is that these ideals could be far from our realities. Because our value systems and experiences shape our world views, we also set our expectations. When these expectations are not met, it’s when we get frustrated. Keeping in mind that our ideals are not always shared by others and accepting this fact may be the difference in how well we maintain our sanity.

image credit: http://blog.tangocard.com/2012/12/28/definition-of-insanity-and-a-real-solution-for-gift-cards/sanity-insanity-road-sign/


Challenges with Change and Innovation – More Than Technology

innovation_change

The topics of change and innovation, specifically technology-related, intrigue me. I read about disruptive innovationdiffusion of innovation, and continual improvement process. At this point, I’m still trying to wrap my thinking as to how these relate and when can/should they be applied in higher education. I have more questions than answers, so I seek new knowledge and perspectives to make sense of it all.

I work in the technology field within higher education, where I’ve witnessed and implemented business processes enabled by technology since the mid-1990s. In the last few years, the pace at which technologies change has become even faster. Who would have imagined the growth and impact of social media, cloud, mobile, and big data just five years ago? Last year, I started noticing more articles about wearable computing and the “internet of things.“. The blurring of the lines between computing services and products only available via IT departments years ago and those readily available to consumers, also known as “consumerization of IT,” has only become more pronounced in the last few years. These changes have provided opportunities and introduced new challenges. All these observations have led me to become more interested in anticipating where the future of higher education and technology may be heading.

If change and innovation in higher education are only about technology, maybe it would be easy if not because change involves culture, politics, traditions, paradigms, and personalities. Technological changes happen within how higher education views itself regarding its perceived roles (preparing students for careers, providing civic service by molding students as productive citizens, research) and how it operates (shared governance, teaching methods, funding priorities, etc.). There is no consensus on these views. The role of faculty and teaching methods are now being challenged in light of new learning opportunities provided to students because of technology, including Massive Open Online Courses (MOOC) and personal learning networks. Current technologies have also added a new spin to the old debate of how individuals learn (objectivism vs. constructivism).

Beyond philosophical debates about the role of technology in higher education, from a practical perspective, it takes time and resources to introduce and implement new ways of using technology. It’s a process, and the process involves human emotions. As one who works in IT, my role is a service provider to my university’s communities of staff, faculty, and students. At the core of my responsibility is ensuring the systems they use work appropriately as they would expect. Network outages and disruption of applications/web services are what we try to avoid.

Given that failures, trial-and-error, and not-so-perfect systems that lead to disorders of services are all part of the process when introducing new systems, how do organizations balance the need to manage stability and provide room for transformational (potentially disruptive) innovations? How do organizations gain buy-ins from faculty, staff, students, and administrators to adopt new systems and ways of doing things? More importantly, the question is when and how do we know when to apply incremental improvements vs. introducing a new way of doing things and disrupting the system?

I’m hoping someone in higher education has figured out the answers to the questions I pose above because I have yet to figure all these out. Let’s talk if you have figured it out or have some ideas.

n light of new learning opportunities provided to students because of technology, including Massive Open Online Courses (MOOC) and personal learning networks. Current technologies have also added a new spin to the old debate of how individuals learn (objectivism vs. constructivism).

Beyond philosophical debates about the role of technology in higher education, from a practicality perspective, it takes time and resources to introduce and implement new ways of using technology. It’s a process, and the process involves human emotions. As one who works in IT, my role is a service provider to my university’s communities of staff, faculty, and students. At the core of my responsibility is ensuring the systems they use work appropriately as they would expect. Network outages and disruption of applications/web services are what we try to avoid. Given that failures, trial-and-error, and not-so-perfect systems that lead to disorders of services are all part of the process when introducing new systems, how do organizations balance the need to manage for stability and provide room for transformational (and potentially disruptive) innovations? How do organizations gain buy-ins from faculty, staff, students, and administrators to adopt new systems and ways of doing things? I suppose, more importantly, the question is when and how do we know when to apply incremental improvements vs. introducing a radically new way of doing things and disrupting the system?

I’m hoping someone in higher education has figured out the answers to the questions I pose above because I have yet to figure all these out. Let’s talk if you have figured it out or have some ideas.

image credit: http://www.innovation-post.com/what-is-the-difference-between-innovation-management-and-change-management/


Reminders of My Inferiority as a POC

I write this post with the acknowledgment that I own many privileges as a male, heterosexual, college-educated, Christian, able-bodied, employed, and a person living in America. Even with these privileges, there are times when I am faced with situations that remind me of my inferiority as a person of color. It was only last week when I went to a Best Buy store, and the salesperson would not even acknowledge me when I was just a couple of feet away from him. It probably took more effort to ignore me than to say hi or say the words “how may I help you”? Did I not look like I had any money to spend? It bothers me when a server ignores my table and treats my friends and us like we don’t belong there. When a salesperson at a Nordstrom store goes out of their way to help a white couple, looking affluent, across the store and ignores me while I’m standing next to him, it bothers me. It bothered me enough I went and spoke with the store manager. I asked myself, was it my age, my look, the way I dressed? Today, a person at my university told me, unsolicited, “I didn’t wear my tie today just to feel important.” a reference to the fact that I was wearing a tie like I do most days. I half-jokingly pointed to my arm and told him, “I have to wear ties just to be equal to others because of my brown skin.”  This person says, “Oh no, I didn’t mean it that way, not at all.”  When another person jokingly, I think, asked me, “whose ass did you kiss to get to where you are?” my immediate reaction at that moment was that they were kidding and laughed it off, to wonder later on what they meant. Did they think I got to where I am through some exception or tokenism? Maybe I don’t need to prove myself, but I feel I need to prove my worth by working harder and longer hours. When a vendor I invited to demo a product chose not to look at me during his one-hour presentation and focused on my two white colleagues the entire time, I wondered why that was.

As a person of color, and an immigrant, there are things I notice that maybe my other colleagues or those around me probably don’t. It’s hard to explain, but there’s a gut feeling that things just don’t seem right where things happen. I’ve gotten a response when I’ve questioned situations: “I was too sensitive.” Am I too sensitive? I don’t know. Maybe. At some point, I stopped sharing some of my concerns so as not to hear those words. What I do know is that I sometimes find myself trying to find reasons to justify the actions of others directed at me and leading me to ask myself why was it that I was treated in a certain way. Is it simply because of how I look, act, and speak, that I’m short? Is it because of my skin color, my race? Maybe it has nothing to do with me. It’s just them.

When I was a freshman at UCSB a couple of decades ago, several of my hallmates discussed how we were accepted to UCSB. One of them told me I was born because of affirmative action and that he had other white friends who had better grades than me and did not get in. Somehow I still remember this situation probably because throughout my life since this occurred, I am reminded of the fact that I am still seen as inferior, and my accomplishments may have just been a result of tokenism. Maybe somehow, I did not earn them.

These negative experiences I’ve had pale compared to what other friends have told me. I’m fortunate I didn’t have to go through what they’ve gone through as persons of color, and here I am again, trying to minimize the negative impact these experiences have had on me, but sometimes, they get emotions out of me. Individual incidents probably don’t amount to anything, but when these things happen often enough in one’s lifetime, they become hard to ignore.


Experimentation Within Student Affairs

My “day job” as a service provider (IT) includes keeping the lights on, which means making sure the vendor and home-grown applications are functioning, managing several projects, fulfilling my leadership//supervisorial responsibilities to my staff, planning department/technology roadmaps, making sure my staff and our customers are happy, meetings, and dealing with emergencies in between. This is the reality of our daily work for many of us, not only in IT but as student affairs practitioners.  From an IT perspective, any changes we introduce must not have a disruptive and negative impact on our departments and their customers; this means changes must be incremental. Indeed, new projects present opportunities to think about and implement business process transformations. These projects take time, people, and resources and require navigating the university’s politics, personalities, and cultures. These all lead to the fact that we rarely have time to spend on experimentation to explore what may be considered radical ideas. Given the constraints and realities of our work, how can we find the time and place to experiment and explore new ideas?

I spend enough time on various social media platforms (Twitter, Linkedin, blogs, Facebook, etc.) to read exciting ideas from professionals in and outside higher education. Following twitter back channel conversations from the conference can be exciting because this is when folks share ideas to return to their campuses to implement what they just learned. I do wonder how many of these ideas ever come to fruition. Personal interest is one thing, but promoting ideas as part of one’s formal job responsibility/authority is more challenging. Even grassroots initiatives that may succeed at a small scale, at some point, will require institutional support for these initiatives to grow at a larger scale.

To student affairs and higher ed colleagues reading this post, how have you managed to find time to do your “day job” and experiment simultaneously?


Work/Life Balance Discussion – A Privilege?

This post reflects on this concept of work/life balance and how my upbringing in a working-class immigrant household whose father worked three or four jobs to support his family shaped how I view my work and life.  It also led me to consider whether this discussion is a privilege afforded to those with enough financial resources to have a conversation. This reflection is a result of observing conversations about this topic and wellness on social media amongst a group of student affairs professionals and, at the same time, painfully watching the devastation brought on by the typhoon in the Philippines and watching those lucky enough to live through the gale go in survival mode. This post is no longer a commentary on other people’s thoughts and their definition of proper work/life balance; ultimately, work/life balance is a personal decision. I grew up thinking I’m fortunate to have a job, and I do what I need to do to succeed, including working long hours, more than anyone else, to be considered equal to my peers.

When my family and I immigrated to the United States, my parents, educated in the Philippines, took jobs at the mall. My dad worked as a janitor, and my mom worked at a pizza place. They needed to get the job they could get to support us. When I was in high school, they established their janitorial business and their full-time jobs, and my dad also mowed lawns. I don’t remember discussing work/life balance growing up. This is the environment I grew up in. It wasn’t as if we were poor; maybe we were middle class, but we certainly did not have the material belongings and other opportunities my wife and I could afford now. So, thinking about how I grew up, I ask these questions: Do folks working in manual labor, working two or three jobs at minimum wage, ever have discussions on work/life balance when they’re trying to feed their families? How about single parents who need to work more than 8-5 to survive and at the same time must schedule their lunch breaks to accommodate their children’s activities? How about folks who are just trying to get jobs?

I’m not saying folks’ work/life balance should not happen because it has real implications regarding mental/physical well-being and relationships. I wonder if this discussion is a privilege not afforded to all.


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