Joe Sabado – Higher Education & Technology Leadership

“Humility comes from inside out and it says, “Someone was here before me and someone has already paid for me.” I have a responsibility to pay for someone else who is yet to come, there is no room in there for ego!” – Maya Angelou

When I think how much sacrifice my parents have done in their lifetime for my sister and I to have the lives that we do, I’m reminded that for all the blessings I have, I did not get them only on my own.   I am humbled for all the opportunities given to me. Humility and gratitude are values I hold dearly both in my professional and personal lives. It is for this reason that I am bothered when I hear others disparage the work of others before them and not realizing that these same work they are criticizing are some of the reasons why they have the opportunities they have now.

I cringe when I hear those who label the work of others as “piece of shit” or “garbage”. There is so much arrogance behind those words, the sense of superiority, the sense that the work of others don’t matter. There is so much ignorance behind those words.

Too many times, I see the sense of privilege, that somehow the world owes us what we “deserve”. I admit, I even forget all the privileges I have and take them for granted. However, I am quickly reminded of how fortunate I am when I think about the sacrifices my parents and all those who paved the way for me. Let’s not forget that for all the successes and experiences we have, we did not do this solely on our own.

Reading this article on Asian-Americans and racial ‘microaggressions’ brought up memories of certain experiences in my life and feeling like I’m an “outsider” or feeling inferior.  Trying to figure out how I fit in or how I belong at work or in social settings is a constant process. As an immigrant from the Philippines, I was reminded immediately after arrival in the US many years ago that I was different, that I am somehow inferior because of my “fobbish” accent, the color of my skin, my race, my socio-economic background,and how I see and relate with the world around me because of my upbringing. I remember being mocked by other students in my 6th grade class when I raised my hand to ask questions and addressed my teacher as “Ma’am” as this how it was in the Philippines.I grew up with the values to respect authority/elders and to have the “we/community” instead of “me/individualistic” mentality but I’m also reminded throughout my career that somehow I’m being too sensitive with that approach. I’m not assertive enough, some have said.

I believe in the idea that the world does not owe me anything, that I have to work for what I would like to have. Watching my parents work multiple jobs at a time and not wanting hand-outs has certainly shaped how I view my world. Even with this belief, sometimes I find myself thinking and accepting that different standards exist for different people. I’ve accepted the idea that I need to work harder, prove myself more than others to be seen as equally capable or that I even belong. Frankly, it’s frustrating, but I have to remind myself that I also carry privileges that I take for granted from time to time.

I have never been able to quite figure out what is the right formula for an appropriate work-life balance. But then again, I’ve accepted the idea that I am not able to truly separate my work from my personal life and vice versa and so I’ve never spent much time trying to figure out how to balance my work/life.  I’ve been fortunate in that my wife and I have careers in higher education we both enjoy. We enjoy what we do because we truly believe in helping students and we believe in the power of education. My work is part of my whole being. It is part of who I am. I work in student affairs not solely for the money but because I find personal and career fulfillment. Generally, activities I find “wanting to do” instead of those “having to do” enjoyable and I look forward to. This is the case with my career. It’s 1:00 AM and I’m up doing system diagrams and writing this blog post and I love it. While some have pointed out this lack of sleep is detrimental to my help, I actually find working at night very relaxing and productive.

I read articles suggesting workers should not work beyond the normal 8-5 work hours. I wonder how many professionals out there have been able to  work their way up by just working within their “normal work hours”.  Personally, I spent many years of late-night hours reading and practicing my programming skills. This was a matter of personal choice. I am not a natural-born programmer so it took me longer to grasp concepts that probably come easier to others. In addition, when I started my career as a web developer in 1996, I had no mentor to learn from. There were no tutorial sites I could copy codes from. Most of what I did were unprecedented at that time  and so I had to spend extra hours after my 8-5 schedule to figure out what I was doing. In addition to my job, I also regularly accepted consulting projects so that I could learn.

There was a time soon after my wife and I got married in 2001 when I had to adjust the amount of time I worked and when I worked. As a newly married couple, our priorities changed towards spending more time together, but I don’t think it was particularly a hard adjustment. We’ve been able to go on vacations, spend a lot of time together and after 12 years of marriage, our relationship is as strong as ever. If and when we do have children, we both accept and look forward to making adjustments to fit the needs of our children and ours once again. In addition, as our aging parents require needing more attention, we will need to make the adjustments as well.

I no longer have to code in my current management position but I find myself “working” after hours, by learning and thinking about how I can be a better leader/manager today.  I also find myself spending a lot of time thinking and reflecting about the future of my profession outside work.

I suppose my wife and I do think about work/life balance but only when adjustments need to be made. Our work is part of who we are and so we don’t compartmentalize it and isolate it from our personal lives. If it ever comes to a point when my job feels as if it’s intruding on my personal life and relationships, then I will make the choice to find a new one. I can’t see that happening anytime soon. I am grateful and acknowledge the privilege of having found a career that aligns with my personal core values and goals. My perspective on how to achieve work/life balance may not be as applicable to other folks, but it’s a personal experience I wanted to share.

What’s your take on work-life balance?

image credit: http://www.greekwire.com

“I wish I could tell you that you’re yelling at someone who wanted to commit suicide just a couple of days ago” were the words in my head as a friend was yelling at me to do more for our Filipino community. She was yelling suicide rate numbers at me, teenage suicide rates in San Diego. She had real passion for social justice and I truly respected her for that. In my own way, I tried my best to advance the cause of Asian American students at UCSB in the way I knew how, but all I could think while I was being yelled at was how I wish I was the one being helped. I was seen as the one with influence, someone who had the power to make changes yet here I was, someone who needed help as well.

(continue reading…)

This is a story of  how I came to be in my current position in student affairs. It’s a story of how a “failed” plan towards  a career in student affairs via graduate school led me to an alternate path to a career I truly enjoy and one  even better than I could have ever imagined.  I share my story with the message that sometimes, life has an interesting way of getting you to a place where you should be.  How you get to where you should be may not always be the route you intend to take.

(continue reading…)